A Moment's Thought
by star-siren
Summary: "Ah yes, your new lover. Tell me; is it all right for me to want to punch his face in every time I see him? Every time I see him with you? Every time I see him with an angel…a goddess…my angel…my goddess….."


Hehe…oheyo minna!  Heh, I just wrote this because…well…I'm procrastinating from having to do my project ^-^;; *whines and grumbles bout projects*

Disclaimer- Don't own either shows

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A Moment's Thought

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I love you…

…I always have, and always will.  I love everything about you.  Only heavens know how someone like me could be blessed with even a second of your time…a second of your breath.

Perhaps the heavens had seen the mistake that had occurred, and that's why they had taken you away from me…or perhaps you had seen the truth…and that's why you left…to get away from me…to get away from poor undeserving me…Or perhaps it was all me….

It was a joke.

…It was a stupid harmless joke…no…it was a stupid joke, but not a harmless one.  Because it _did_ cause harm…it _did_ hurt

….It hurt you….

I never wished for it to.  I never stopped to think that you wouldn't realize that it had been a joke.  That it was all in fun…that I hadn't meant it…I never thought…about what you would have thought. 

…Then again, I never do think when it comes to you.

What is it about you that make me act upon impulse?  What is it about you that make me feel so…so…alive?  What is it about you that make me think your perfect?

Your flaws are plentiful.  You whine and cry over any insignificant thing.  I remember when you cried for a week, after your goldfish died. ….I had spent the whole week trying to cheer you up….but out of those seven days, only three days did you smile.  The other four, you locked me out.

You're constantly tripping and falling over your own two feet.  It is amazing; how you can barely walk straight ahead, yet remain unhurt.  It's amazing that you look as beautiful as you do, nothing marring your smooth flesh, even after falling at least ten times a day.  That was how I met you.  You had fallen right into my arms, and I remembered thinking that I had caught a fallen angel.

Your eating habits are atrocious!  I never figured out where all the food went…well, I have an idea, but if I were ever to voice it out, I know for certain I would be on the receiving end of space sword blaster, followed soon by lightning and fire, only to end with a world shaking.  You may be small…but even a blind man can't deny that certain aspects of you are not.

Ah…how beautiful you are.  Do you know how many times I've had to restrain myself from physically beating any man who dared glance towards you the wrong way?  You certainly know how to make a scene, whether you realize it or not.  Hm…I still remember that incident at the mall…

…You were shopping, and as usual, I had been dragged along.  Of course, I didn't mind…it was time spent with you, how could I?  Not that I let you know that, of course.  Hm..what was the name of that store again?  No matter, it is of no importance.  I can still remember how you had dragged me into that store, to watch you try on clothes.

Didn't you know that you could be covered in trash and filth, and still look as gorgeous as ever to me?  ….That's right….you didn't.

Seating me, you went to the dressing room.  Outfit after outfit, you had tried on, each better than the next.  But it was the last outfit, that had left me breathless.

A silk white evening gown, embroidered with silver flowers.  Its neckline was a daring V, showing just the right teasing amount of cleavage.  It clung on your every curve, teasing our male hormones…taunting us.  That slit on the side…heh…I'm not sure if you realized that it ended several inches below your…ahem..buttocks…

Did you realize that the whole store had stopped to look at you?  To marvel at your beauty?  To bathe in your presence?  In your light?

I guess you didn't know how stunning you had looked, because hearing no comment from me, you had sat down, pouting and leaned forward, allow us all a very nice site of your chest.

Did it ever hit you that it was no coincidence that at that moment, the man leaning against the counter had fallen over, hitting the shelf and passing out?  Did it ever hit you that it was not a coincidence at all that the men had all stopped listening to their wives and girlfriends, that the girls were so envious of you?  

Did it never occur to you that the I had been struck dumb by the beauty, the radiance, that you are?

No, I suppose not.  That was the best quality of yours…you were so innocent, never realizing the affect you had on people.

Did you know that I had run after you, afterwards?  That's right, I had run after you that night.  After I had seen your teary eyes, which forever haunts me.  After I had seen your crestfallen face, which has burned itself into my mind.  After…after I had hurt you.

I suppose it's too late.

I suppose _I'm_ too late.

I was a fool…_am_ a fool…I know that now.  You had been mine, and in a fit of drunken pleasure, I had lost you.  Who would have thought my downfall, after everything I had been through, would have been some stupid alcohol?

No…the alcohol wasn't my downfall.  My downfall…was _you_.  You were my weakness…yes, that was what you were.  You were my weakness.

In that case, I should be glad you're gone, ne?  I should be glad to be rid of you.

So why aren't I?  Why?  If you were such a weakness to me, why?  Why do I crave you so?  Your like a drug…so addicting.  I had you once…and now…now I'm hooked.

You were my weakness, to be eliminated.  I suppose that, perhaps, I had known that, always had known that, and that was why I did what I did.  Why should an evil such as me be with an angel such as yourself?

And so I set you free…free in front of everybody…

I love you….

I can imagine their faces now, if I told them.  There there would be shock.  And he…he would hold possessiveness…and possibly want to kill me, for loving you…but how can he expect me not to?  But I suppose, if I was in his position…I would want to kill me too…so it is only natural that he should.

Ah yes, your new lover.  Tell me; is it all right for me to want to punch his face in every time I see him?  Every time I see him with you?  Every time I see him with an angel…a goddess…_my_ angel…_my_ goddess…..

No….you're not mine any longer.  I guess I should let go of the hope now, hm?  The last shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, you would come back to me.  Yes, I had held onto that hope through thick and thin, no matter how impossible I knew it was.  And how can I hate him?  He's my friend, my comrade…my brother, in a way.  I should have known you would turn to him for support.

Heh, did he ever tell you what happened when he and I had next met after that night?  I hope he did…it might make you smile and laugh, even at my expense.  Yes, I remember that night vividly…well, maybe not so vividly, but I sure as hell remember the pain!  I should have known I couldn't beat him, be I sober or not.

Then I remember finding out you two were an item.  I was the last to know, because you didn't want me to feel awkward, I suppose.  That's just like you, so caring.

I was jealous, did you know?  When I had found out about you two, I had thought it wouldn't last long.  He was so…so…cold…even more so than I…and you…you were..light.

I should have known better.  You have that special way of changing people for the better.  I don't believe I've ever seen him happier than when he was with you.  With us, he was so cold, so aloof…but with you…I didn't recognize him.

Then you had dropped the news…engaged…to him.

Why?  Why did you two go and do that?  Didn't you care how _I_ felt? What I _thought_?  No…but I can't blame you…both of you.

He had no idea I still held these feelings…and you…

You never knew.

No…you never knew of the torture it was to have you so close, yet know that we might as well be in different ends of the universe.  You never knew that I cared….that I loved you…and I still do.

Ahh, and then came the big day…the wedding day.  You were so beautiful…I'm sure I must have told you that, but then again, perhaps I didn't.  I was dripping with so much envy, I'm surprised no one slipped on it.

Your wedding had been the happiest day of your life…and his too, I know.  Yet, it was the worst day of my life.  You were lost to me, forever….you were now his….you belonged to another.

Who would have thought, that you, the sister of Crawford, would have married a Weiss member?  And who would have thought that it would be you, who would force us to at least act civil towards each other, even if we would then stay as far away as possible.

Then again, who would have thought that you, of all people, would have been related to Crawford?

Someone up there obviously had a little too much alcohol when that was decided….or maybe the heavens just had a twisted sense of humor.

Of course, it would have been you, who would have caused us to form an 'alliance', if you could call it that.  Imagine that…Weiss and  Schwarz…allies…if a bit reluctantly…

That would be impossible…one would say….it would take a miracle.  And it did…it took you…

Ahh...your husband is calling me…I wonder what it could be….I can hear his rather loud and quick footsteps…coming closer and closer…closer….

"Youji!" 

'Ahh…there he is, breaking me out of my thoughts….' Youji thought bitterly.

"Youji, hurry up!  Aya's already in the car…what are you waiting for?! Usa's not going to hold in the baby for you!"

"Go on ahead, I'll catch up!"

"No, come on now!  I'm not going to miss my baby just because of you!"

"Go ahead without me then, I'll catch up later."

"Fine," the door slammed.

Ahh…yes, of course he would come and get me for the baby…the baby!?  Nani!?  The baby was coming today?!

"Balinese!  Get your ass out now!"

Yup…definetly…why else would Crawford be calling him from the other side of the door.

The bed creaked and moments later, the door opened, allowing Brad Crawford to see Youji.

"Hurry up…Abyssinian already left." He growled.

"It's his kid being born." Youji shrugged indifferently, though inside he felt like crying.

'His child…his and Usagi's child…..it should have been mine…'

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Heh, I tried to make it happier at the end…did it work?  Well, review and lemme know what you think!


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